"Go lie down. Watch TV."

Today was an awful day at work. Someone did something shocking even for a lawyer. I worked all day to combat it, but I stewed, too.

When I got home, a sudden rage came over me that surprised me. Maia had been outside with Kristina, and she climbed into my car for the last 10 feet or so of the trip into the garage. That was nice--one of the surprising things that Maia will do that just adds so much. And then I thought about what this person had done, and how that might affect my practice, and how that might affect my home and family, and I thought I was going to explode.

After a few minutes inside, I went out again to get myself away from Maia, Kristina and Popo. I had found myself walking in a tight circle through the livingroom and lanai, and I knew I didn't belong with them. But watering the hibiscus didn't produce any lasting relief, and so I went to go buy some beer.

"What's that?" Maia wanted to know.

"Beer," I said. "Daddy had a hard day."



"Okay," she said, and she carried it to the table. We were ready to eat dinner. But when I left the table to get another, she protested. "Beer and soda not good for you," she said. "Not good for caca." What is and isn't good for caca is a conversation we have on a fairly regular basis because moving her bowels can be such a traumatic experience for her.

She screwed up her face at me from her seat opposite mine, wagged her finger at me, and said, "I don't want you to drink beer."



Kristina and her mother got into the conversation at this point. Something about my looking tired.

"Go lie down," Maia said to me. "Watch TV."

When she says things like that, she really takes me by surprise. This is the same little girl who, about a week ago, started yelling at the screen door about her skin coming off. "My skin falling off! My skin falling off!" she said, completely panicked. It turned out that she was talking about a scab that had come off her forehead where she had been burned by a drop of sap from a tree. First time that she had experienced a scab coming off.



And yet here she was, a uxorial little 4 year old, giving me advice that wasn't bad about letting my mind go.

I left to go back to work a little later. Partly because I had to, and partly because I needed to. She was watching TV from her stroller. I apologized to her for being in such a bad mood. I don't know how much of that sank in. I think she'll mull it over and that somehow or other, she will make sense of it in her own fashion.



These pictures are all from last Saturday at Kakaako Beach Park--the same one where we flew Nemo that day. A lot of things happen there--surfing and as you can see, some evidence of Hawaii's growing "marriage industry." Japanese couples, in particular, like to come here to get married at scenic spots like the one you're seeing.

John, Tuesday, September 19, 2006