A premiere

Tonight, we went to the premiere of a film we had invested in. It was made in Hawaii, and we got tax breaks for the investment. The Judge who granted summary judgment to the other side was there with his wife. The house had filled up by that time. There were seats in the row in front of the Judge, and I took those for myself, Maia, Kristina, and her mom. I sat directly in front of him. I'm not sure why I did that. These days, when I'm in a situation that upsets me in some way, I say, "Give them (him/her) peace, John." Sometimes I say, "Give yourself peace, John." I did that tonight with this Judge who had written such an unnecessarily prejudicial opinion and who had been too full of himself to do what principle should have demanded of him, which was to recuse himself. "Give him peace, John," I said to myself. There was some period of time before the show started. The producers were there to make their thank yous to the investors, like my family and this Judge, I suppose. And to introduce people who had been in the film or who had contributed in some way. The Judge knew I was sitting in front of him. At one point, a former Governor was introduced, he was sitting behind us, and I had to turn in my seat to look at him. The Judge turned as I turned, I presume to avoid seeing me. I did not look at him. Would not have. Just before the show started, he talked about the election. About defeating Obama, electing Romney. I thought that that was intended for me. But whether it was or wasn't wasn't material to what followed. It coalesced for me this Judge's reality, and his prejudices. When the film started, I began to think about my case. I've thought about little else since August 8th, when his opinion was published. But this time, I found a resolve in those thoughts that I had lost. The Judge seemed small to me, his reality seemed small, and I just knew that I need to attack it. And so I shall. Whatever else the 14th amendment may be, it is not intended as a protection for prejudice. John, Wednesday, August 29, 2012.