An old email

[This is an old email that I ran across last night. It's dated March 20, 2005--about two years ago. Maia was then 4 months shy of her third birthday. I want to preserve the email, so I think I will put it here. The pics are mostly from a day in the park at about this time. She was still in diapers.]









I think I may look back on these early years as our golden age with Maia.

Yesterday, the three of us were lying in bed together because we were sick, Maia between Kristina and me. We were napping, reading, and also playing. At one point, Kristina and I had Maia squeezed between us. She was laughing, and you could see that she was delighted.




[the ole preschool arm cannon]



She is very happy now. And I think the happiness is not absolute, or only absolute, but also relative--an appreciation of how different things are now that she has two adults who are hers and hers alone. "Maia Mommy," "Maia Poppy," she says many times during the day. She is truly happy to have us, and to be with us.

She does not yet know that there is a sadness that underlies her happiness. But soon--by 5, I think, at the latest--she will know that she is adopted and that that means that there is another family out there, somewhere, that gave her up. Everything I know about adoption makes me believe that that will eat at her. I'm afraid that that may undermine her happiness with us, but I don't know what to do about it, except to try to weather the storm.



Yesterday, we were playing a card game on the floor. A bunch of different pairs of vehicles--cars, trucks, earth moving stuff, and so on. The idea is to deal them face down in an array, and take turns turning over two at a time. You keep the cards if they match, turn them back down if they don't.

Maia and I had played with these cards before, but I had never been able to get the idea of the game across to her. Yesterday, it clicked, and she knew how to play.

I can't describe how wonderful those moments are.

The one thing of importance that we can give to her, besides our love, is education. Maybe that will help her to put it all together.




John, Friday, January 12, 2007