Maia's song--a new person in the world
Tomorrow, Maia gives a presentation. She is talk about her "time-line"--her personal history--to her classmates.
The prospect has put her on edge for the last week for two reasons--the content and the format. She doesn't like to talk to groups, and the content brings her closer into contact with the fact of adoption than she'd care to be.
We practiced the presentation with her tonight. She did very well--she was voluble, smooth, and even funny. With us, she's very different than the way she is with others in performance situations. It's always been this way. When she was taking hula, she delighted in doing dances on a table for us at home. But in group performances, she just froze.
We did the last run-throughs of the presentation in her room, before bedtime. Then I went downstairs.
Kristina came down a few minutes later.
She told about a song she had heard Maia singing.
"I'm so glad my Mommy and Daddy adopted me," she had sung. And then she had stopped singing and started to cry.
"I miss my family," she had said. "I miss my mommy and daddy. My daddy died because he used drugs. And my mommy was eaten by an animal. I only have two friends. And so you have to be nice to me because I'm a new person in the world."
"It was sad," Kristina said.
This is the presentation that Maia had been rehearsing:
"I was born on July 15, 2002 in Kazakhstan. Kazakhstan is on the other side of the world It is near China and Russia.
"When I was 22 months old, I came to Hawaii.
"When I was 2 years old, my Grandma came to celebrate my birthday.
"I had learned 500 words.
"When I was 3 years old, I started preschool.
"When I was 4 years old, I went to Seattle for Christmas with my Grandma, Grandpa, cousins and auntie and uncle.
"When I was 5 years old, I started kindergarten at Hokulani, and we moved into our new house."
"When I was 6 years old, I started first grade at Hokulani and I got my first fish. "His name is George.
"When I was 7 years old, I started second grade at Hokulani. I went horseback riding on November 27, 2009 on the Big Island."
The last reference was to our trip to the Big Island for Thanksgiving.
That trip had brought out thoughts about adoption, too. On the first day, we were driving back to the hotel, and Maia and Kristina were talking in the back seat.
"Why didn't they want me?" she asked Kristina. She was talking about her parents.
"Maybe they couldn't take care of you," Kristina said. "And we got to adopt you."
I went back upstairs after Kristina told me the story about Maia's song.
Maia appeared to be asleep. I gave her a kiss on the forehead, and headed back downstairs. But Maia called to me before I had gotten too far.
I went back to the bathroom to throw it away, but she said, the rubbish can is there, pointing to a spot near her bed.
You can sleep by me, she said.
I knelt on the floor by her bed. I could feel the wet spot on her pillow, and her nose was all stuffed up.
"If your birth mommy and birth daddy could see you tomorrow," I said, "they would be very proud of you."
"What do you mean?"
"Your birth mommy and daddy. The ones you had when you were born."
"Oh, you mean my old mommy and daddy."
"Yes," I said. She thought about this. She started to rub my head--it gave her some kind of connection to me.
I got her some tissue. I went back to the bathroom to throw it away, but she said, "The rubbish can is there," pointing to a spot near her bed.
"You can sleep by me," she then said. She hasn't made that request in a while; over the last month or so, she's been going to sleep by herself, and only occasionally comes into our bedroom now.
I started to crawl into bed with her.
"But Mommy…but Mommy…I will…"
"You will break your record?" I asked.
"Yes," she said.
"Do you want me to go? If you want me to get out of bed, I will," I said.
"I can’t choose," she said. "Maybe if you just sleep a little while and then get up..."
"Then you won’t break your record."
"Yes," she said.
So I did.
She snuggled close to me—unusual for her.
And soon she fell asleep.
John, Monday, December 7, 2009
The prospect has put her on edge for the last week for two reasons--the content and the format. She doesn't like to talk to groups, and the content brings her closer into contact with the fact of adoption than she'd care to be.
We practiced the presentation with her tonight. She did very well--she was voluble, smooth, and even funny. With us, she's very different than the way she is with others in performance situations. It's always been this way. When she was taking hula, she delighted in doing dances on a table for us at home. But in group performances, she just froze.
We did the last run-throughs of the presentation in her room, before bedtime. Then I went downstairs.
Kristina came down a few minutes later.
She told about a song she had heard Maia singing.
"I'm so glad my Mommy and Daddy adopted me," she had sung. And then she had stopped singing and started to cry.
"I miss my family," she had said. "I miss my mommy and daddy. My daddy died because he used drugs. And my mommy was eaten by an animal. I only have two friends. And so you have to be nice to me because I'm a new person in the world."
"It was sad," Kristina said.
This is the presentation that Maia had been rehearsing:
"I was born on July 15, 2002 in Kazakhstan. Kazakhstan is on the other side of the world It is near China and Russia.
"When I was 22 months old, I came to Hawaii.
"When I was 2 years old, my Grandma came to celebrate my birthday.
"I had learned 500 words.
"When I was 3 years old, I started preschool.
"When I was 4 years old, I went to Seattle for Christmas with my Grandma, Grandpa, cousins and auntie and uncle.
"When I was 5 years old, I started kindergarten at Hokulani, and we moved into our new house."
"When I was 6 years old, I started first grade at Hokulani and I got my first fish. "His name is George.
"When I was 7 years old, I started second grade at Hokulani. I went horseback riding on November 27, 2009 on the Big Island."
The last reference was to our trip to the Big Island for Thanksgiving.
That trip had brought out thoughts about adoption, too. On the first day, we were driving back to the hotel, and Maia and Kristina were talking in the back seat.
"Why didn't they want me?" she asked Kristina. She was talking about her parents.
"Maybe they couldn't take care of you," Kristina said. "And we got to adopt you."
I went back upstairs after Kristina told me the story about Maia's song.
Maia appeared to be asleep. I gave her a kiss on the forehead, and headed back downstairs. But Maia called to me before I had gotten too far.
I went back to the bathroom to throw it away, but she said, the rubbish can is there, pointing to a spot near her bed.
You can sleep by me, she said.
I knelt on the floor by her bed. I could feel the wet spot on her pillow, and her nose was all stuffed up.
"If your birth mommy and birth daddy could see you tomorrow," I said, "they would be very proud of you."
"What do you mean?"
"Your birth mommy and daddy. The ones you had when you were born."
"Oh, you mean my old mommy and daddy."
"Yes," I said. She thought about this. She started to rub my head--it gave her some kind of connection to me.
I got her some tissue. I went back to the bathroom to throw it away, but she said, "The rubbish can is there," pointing to a spot near her bed.
"You can sleep by me," she then said. She hasn't made that request in a while; over the last month or so, she's been going to sleep by herself, and only occasionally comes into our bedroom now.
I started to crawl into bed with her.
"But Mommy…but Mommy…I will…"
"You will break your record?" I asked.
"Yes," she said.
"Do you want me to go? If you want me to get out of bed, I will," I said.
"I can’t choose," she said. "Maybe if you just sleep a little while and then get up..."
"Then you won’t break your record."
"Yes," she said.
So I did.
She snuggled close to me—unusual for her.
And soon she fell asleep.
John, Monday, December 7, 2009
posted by John at 12/07/2009 11:20:00 PM
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