A white lie

I was working on my laptop at the small desk in my mother-in-law's livingroom tonight, when Maia came out in her dinosaur pajamas. We are staying there because our house is being remodelled.

"Come sleep by me, Daddy," Maia asked. She sleeps on a futon next to our bed.

I followed her back to our bedroom and lay on one side of her. Kristina lay on the other side.

"Ouch, Daddy," she said. I had given her a good night kiss. "Your hair poke me."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," I said.

There was quiet for a while.

"What's that smell," she wanted to know. "Is that you, Daddy?"

I laughed. I thought she was talking about the spaghetti we had had for dinner. I hadn't brushed my teeth yet, as she had collected me before I had gotten to that point.

"Soap," she said. "I smell soap, Daddy." It was from my shower. Which I had gotten to.

"Go to sleep, sweetie," I said.

I could hear it raining very hard. We've had several days of rain. After a time, it died down.

I thought she had gone to sleep, so I slowly got up to go.

"Where you going, Daddy," she wanted to know.

I laughed at being caught.

"Are you going to the computer?" she asked. She says it, "com-poo-tah,"

"Yes, sweetie."

"And you not going to office?"

"No, sweetie," I said. "I'm going to be right outside."

She let me go then.

Kristina came out after Maia had fallen asleep. I left shortly after that to go to the gym. About a week ago, I had a dream in which I had had a stroke. Actually, it was worse than that--my field of vision clouded on the right side, and I couldn't do anything about it. It was as though the stroke were coming, like an accident in slow motion, and there was nothing I could do about it. The dream was so real that when I woke up, I was sure that I couldn't see.

I think Maia knew that I had been fibbing to her about staying home and that she forgave me for it.

This pic was taken in July, 2005, just before her third birthday.

John, March 23, 2006