Maia calls the police on me

Yesterday, we had been having breakfast. Maia had moved to the couch to watch TV, and I passed between her and the television on my way to open a window.

“Hey!” she said. “I’m going to call the police on you, Daddy!”

“Go ahead,” I retorted, laughing. Then I went to the bathroom.

When I came out, the phone was ringing.

“Go ahead and answer it,” I said. But Maia made the "busted" face that she does when she doesn't want Kristina to know about something she's done, and so I answered it.

“This is Officer [something—I didn’t catch the name]. Did someone at that number call 911.”

I looked at Maia, and she was still making her “busted” face.

“Oh my goodness,” I said. “My little girl…”

“So no one needs an officer to respond?” she wanted to know.

“No,” I said. “I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I will cancel the call.” She wanted my name, and I gave it to her.

Later in the day, Maia said, “I wonder what I’m going to look like when I grow up.”

I paused a little to wonder if she was lamenting the fact that she didn’t have anyone biologically related to her to compare herself to. I couldn't decide.

“You’re going to be beautiful,” I said.

“Not!” she said.

“Yes, everybody says so,” I said.

“Not kids,” she said, slugging me.

“Maia,” I said, “don’t hit.” She’s been doing that, lately, and I haven’t been very successful in getting her to stop.

That moment and one other that happened yesterday are linked in my mind to the call to 911.

We were lying in bed. Maia had said that my face was old and that her face was young.

“Are you embarrassed at school sometimes because Mommy and I are older?” I asked.

She didn’t say anything.

“Do the other kids tease you about it?”

“No,” she said.

“You’re just embarrassed sometimes?” I asked.

“Maybe,” she said.

A lot is on her mind. Sometimes that stuff works itself out in little rebellions and fights with us, and sometimes it's just the opposite--a solicitousness that is unexpected.

A couple of days ago, the three of us were crowded together in the kitchen. We were talking about my weight. Maia allowed as how I needed to stop drinking beer and coffee so I would live a long time. I needed to drink water, and Kristina did, too, she said.

So much for her to think about and put together.

John, Sunday, October 19, 2008