J__n v. A__e

Today, the State will answer. The Complaint was filed on December 7th and then amended on January 27th. The AG's office will hold a press conference today (2/21), and I will probably also be interviewed. The day after tomorrow, I will have an hour and a half conference call with mainland types who are players in this area so taht they can express their "concerns"--i.e., they're worried that I'm going to screw this up.

As I write this, the pressures exerted by these things do not seem so substantial. But I know they are. I missed the turn on the way to Maia's school this morning (kept heading down the hill towards my office instead), and I know exactly why--I was thinking about how the amendment to Hawaii's constitution will play out in this case. This starts a one to three year process.

I know how to win this case. We won't have a sympathetic ear at trial, but we will on appeal, and the trial judge can affect the outcome only so far. But I confess that it is daunting, Maia.

This morning, you asked why I had missed the turn. I likened it to your practicing a speech for a class. You asked me when I would give the speech. I said it was a long way, away. You told me that I needed to focus--what I tell you when you're preparing an assignment.

I will hold in mind the Bene Gesserit Litany against Fear. It has helped me many times:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

John, Tuesday, February 21, 2012